If you are in trouble with your loved one, try not to blame him/her, don’t be judgmental. Try to be in his/her shoes, he/she is fine as he/she is, don’t try to change the other, you can only change yourself, or you can change your perspective so that you will have a different perception about him/her. Simply accept what he/she really is, acceptance of hardship itself is the very reason the hardship can be transmuted to a way you desire . Once you change yourself, your loved one will change as a result of your change. Don’t act otherwise, that means, don’t expect other to change first before you can change, as both of you will expect the same, no change will take place.
Your preset expectation and idea of what your loved one should be like and should do to treat you are thoughts arise from your ego, the intents of your ego in doing so is to relieve the pain and fear deep inside you with the feeling of how well you are treated and loved by your loved one. When you love someone with emotional expectation, you are no longer acting out love, you are simply demanding to be loved in a way you want it so that you can fill the black hole in your mind, in course of a relationship, you get upset and frustrated all the time as you realized your expectation can never be fulfilled, you then helplessly blame your loved one . What you are doing actually violates the law of true love as it is an act of unconditional giving of your presence with love to others without the need to demand for pay-back,it’s not an act of possession either. Only when you don’t expect your loved one to treat you the way you want to be treated and when you can surrender your ego, your love can start to flow smoothly through your vacant presence to others and receive the love from others the same way.
Don’t you know that the relationship you have with your love partner carries more meaning than you can possibly imagine, you have missions to complete, some life lessons to learn in many cases through suffering. Therefore, there is actually no absolute right or wrong in a love relationship, but only the experience itself through which you can achieve a spiritual growth with help of your partner.
Cherish the chance to stay with your loved one, be grateful purely for his/her presence with you, for he/she is your partner bearing a mission to awaken you in ways that might not be preferable but helpful to you.