You probably often complain to your partner about the way he/she treats you, you think there are lots of room your partner can do to make you feel better, you think the way your partner currently treats you is the main reason you cannot really feel happy and satisfied. You believe it’s all his/her fault.
You are always asking your partner to change, you believe you have already been fully devoted to the relationship, you think it is simply not fair for you to always be the one who gives more than you should. You begin to feel disappointed in this relationship, sometimes you think of giving up, somehow something inside you keeps you stay as you are, you realize that you simply can’t leave this person.
There seems to be only one choice ahead of you which is to change your partner. Yet, no matter how hard you try, the changes made by your partner are either unnoticeable or fleeting, you then realize that there is actually no way you can change your partner at all. As a result, you start blaming your destiny, you even force yourself to believe that there is nothing you can do but to totally succumb to your fate. You become very negative in a way that you feel the lack of motivation to hang on in your relationship any longer. Soon, you might be even getting indifferent to anything about your partner, you can’t help but finally reach a decision to separate with the one who you think is keeping you unhappy at all costs.
If you are currently undergoing a similar experience or simply worrying about that it might happen to you, please try now to shift your perspective with me. Simply tell yourself very seriously that today is your very last day you can be with your partner and pay attention to what it feels like in your heart. When you are forced to think in a condensed reality that today is the only day you have, you can’t help but cherish each and every moment you have available with your partner, you will spontaneously let go of those right and wrong judgments you held on to before, you no longer care if you are the one rather than your partner who always spend much greater efforts in maintaining the relationship, you will even let go of your partner’s faults whole-heartily which you found really hard to forgive before.
Actually, the dramatized change in your attitude towards the same person takes place as a result of your experience of the truth. Due to the highly compressed feeling of time, your focus is tuned only to the present moment where you will cherish what is really important in each moment you have with your partner, you therefore see more clearly how much you are in love with your partner. Only the truth other than what you think to be the truth can be revealed in the moment of now.
After that, you will bring the truth with you when you are back to your normal consciousness. All of a sudden, you think that all those right and wrong judgments are no longer important to you and you understand now that all of the suffering you experienced were actually caused by your attachment to some of your inherent notions about yourself and others. No matter how bad a situation you are in, how much mental pain you suffer, you know that every suffering is there to provide you with an opportunity through which you learn to transcend it.
Given the new angle, you now see more clearly what exactly is the situation you are in. You will then learn to focus more on your partner’s virtue and strength rather than deficiency and weakness. You will even be aware of the truth that the one you are really in love with is your partner per se rather than the version that your mind projects onto the person.
Assuming that today is NOT the last day you can be with your loved one, will you still choose to be the exact person you were before?